Don't wait, the opportunity may not come again.

So, so, so, soooo tired. As I was driving back from Tyler tonight I was thinking deep thoughts and thinking that I would come home and post them here, where they are anonymously safe. Is it a good thing to have the obsessive personality that allowed me to distract myself for a while with "Words With Friends"?

One of these days I will -- hopefully -- learn not to overload myself and my schedule. The last few weeks (but particularly the past week) have just about done me in. Too much to get done in too short a time. Tonight was going to be my only evening home in the last 6. But instead I got to take my stepdaughter to the hospice facility so she could be with her mother, who isn't expected to survive the night. Thought for a while I was going to have to drive to Dallas to pick up the other stepdaughter, because she was too distraught to drive. But she decided to wait until tomorrow morning and drive herself down. She just spent several hours with her mother this weekend and said her goodbyes then.

I actually attempted to call my ex-husband this evening while driving home. Watching my kids deal with the death of their mother, it occurred to me that it would be nice if someone let my daughter know when her biological father (or sperm donor, as she calls him, since she hasn't seen him since she was 15 months old) passes away. I was going to ask him if he would please just put a note in his wallet with my daughter's or my number on it so someone would let us know. But both of his numbers are disconnected, so I guess we'll just never know. And that fits right in with his idea of parenting from the beginning, I guess.

Don't wait to tell your loved ones that you love them. Most of us will not get the forewarning to come in for a weekend or spend the night with our loved ones before they go.

All of those intriguing lines of thought I was working through while driving home are gone now. Wish I could remember them.


Tired + depression = the end of the rope for today.